My best friend has cancer. When I tell people this, I usually get some bug eyed, sad faced, "oh gosh how horrible" kind of expression. To which I tend to tilt my head to the side, squint my eye, and say something like, "yeah, but she's a cancer fighting ninja, you know?"
The thing to know if you've got a loved one with a chronic disease is that they are NOT their disease. Yes, it's a part of them. Yes, it shapes them. And yes, it can, at times consume them. But they are more then that. And you're doing not only them a disservice, but also yourself if you can't get past that.
Look beyond the physical and see their will to survive, their sense of humor, their dreams and hopes for the future. Support them when things feel hopeless, renew their sense of purpose, rationalize when you need to, and above all, love them endlessly and let them know that they are not alone.
And you know what? My best friend gives all that back to me. Even though my problems seem far less important, she still hears, listens, and supports me right back without comparison. Why? We're best friends. It's what we do. Even when she's in horrendous amounts of pain and under a lot of stress, will still attempt to walk me through my inability to properly get the sound to work on my Blackberry Messenger.
She's a smart, witty, passionate, beautiful, tough, hilarious, stubborn, shoe lover with a knack for seeing love and hope in many things.
Cancer is just a word. It's not a person. It's a disease but it's not a life. Never give up, never back down, and always, always stick with them. Trust me, it might not always be easy, but it sure is worth it.
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