Alessandra: The Courage To Heal- Intro

Every one has their own demons. You can look at a girl across the room from you in class, see her messed up hair and frumpy clothes, her face buried in a book and think that she's such a nerd and it's pathetic. But maybe, her demon is that her step-father abuses her so she tries to make herself look as unattractive as possible at all times so he won't rape her anymore, so he won't touch her anymore, so that maybe, possibly it could all stop.

You never know when someone has their demons, but three out of five women have been or will be sexually molested/abused/assaulted in their lifetime. I am one of those three. I have had therapy for it since I realized what was happening. When it all came about, I was too young. I couldn't comprehend what we were doing was bad, what he was doing was bad. I found it exciting because he said it was our little secret. I was eight. He was my hero. Why wouldn't I believe him?

One of my saviors is a main named Adair. He's a therapist I met through RAINN which is a non-profit for rape and incest survivors, they help them with everything from literally two seconds after the incident and holding your hand through it all, to being there next to you two years later in court. RAINN saved my life. Adair saved my sanity. He brought me a book called 'The Courage To Heal' A Guide for Women Survivors of Child Sexual Abuse. Adair helped me then, when I was young and first figuring every thing. He helped me a year and a half ago and to this day when I was stuck in an insanely abusive relationship. I've been meaning to start this book, working through the writing portions and letting myself really be okay and forgive myself for the situation so I can stop being so tight about it all and stop carrying the weight of every thing on me so heavily.

Please keep in mind that all of the posts that are regarding this topic will always be titled 'The Courage To Heal'. Some of the posts will have extreme graphic nature that is unsettling to most, some people are unable to read about sexual abuse to a child from a victims standpoint as it makes them uncomfortable. I completely understand that and don't take any offense if you don't read it. But this is where I come to get it out there, to get everything off my back. It's a new year, it's something I've been needing to do, for me, for my health, for an incredibly long time. I apologize to those who get offended by the topic and the nature of the posts but I will never apologize for posting them. This is my life, my history, this is who I am and what has happened to me. I'll never apologize for that.

That being said, HAPPY NEW YEAR!!