Do you have moments that you know as they are happening, that they will change your life? It's almost as though you're being lifted up out of your body, above everything going on, watching yourself go through whats happening and thinking 'wow, this changes, everything'. You don't know how to control it and you aren't freaking it, this odd serenity comes over you and you feel safe in the confines of knowing that the change is coming.
This happened to me tonight. Around him. He was so sick. He was a ripped up, torn down, beat apart version of the man I used to love, the man who has been a pillar in my life, one of my greatest friends for so long.
When he finally opened his eyes, I knew in that moment that he wasn't okay, he wouldn't be okay and probably never will be. He knew it too.
But that's okay, because for tonight, he got to be with his boy, and I got to tell him how much he's impacted my life, how proud of him I am. I got to show him in my eyes that it's alright for things to not be okay. I got to show him that he shouldn't be afraid of it, that I'd be by his side the whole time.
Then he showed me how much he loved me in his. And I watched as it all disappeared as the damage took control and he began to seize. They had to put him under once again, causing everything to not be okay, causing him to not be okay....causing all of this to not be okay.
But for a moment there, a single moment. There was love in ours, respect, admiration, years of friendship, and a bond that will never be broken- not with death, not with anything.
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